Selfless Service

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

The morning after the hysterectomy, my body was in excruciating pain. First nights in the hospital are always the worst, and I hadn't gotten any sleep to speak of. I was still groggy from the anesthesia, and I struggled through the night to get comfortable. In and out of consciousness, the reality of my decision and the words “final death of a life-long dream” kept running through my mind. Would I be all right in the morning, I wondered? Not yet having opened my eyes, someone standing beside my bed that next morning cheerfully said, “Good morning. How are you doing?” Taking a few minutes to get my focus, I soon recognized the face; it was my physician smiling down at me.

She was referred to me. “You just have to go see her,” my friend said, “They say she's the best that Gainesville has to offer.” I wasted no time scheduling an appointment with her. She only took problem cases, and I felt I definitely was a problem.

The year before I had had a myomectomy, which amounts to having fibroids cut out of the uterus; and then the uterus is sown up and placed back inside the abdomen; it was not successful. By the time I found this specialist, I was in pretty bad shape. I could not walk, sit or stand without a great deal of pain, and life was becoming unmanageable. There was a battle going on inside of me, and I just did not want to give up a life-long dream of mine of having my own children. I was raising my niece, had waited faithfully on God for marriage and my own family. I just refused to believe that God was asking me for this too. He wouldn't.

When the radiologist arose from his seat to give me the report of a final ultrasound, his words were numbing: “There is absolutely nothing else to be done.” He left the room. My knees buckled. I dropped to the floor, reached for my cell and dialed the clinic. My physician came immediately to the phone. Now, for me, that was Christ. When at the clinic one day for an appointment, I wailed that “no one would ever want to marry me because I will no longer be able to bear a child.” This physician rolled her stool over to my side, put her arm around my shoulder to comfort me and said, “That's not true.” Again, that was Christ. For the hysterectomy and a second surgery after that, she always came to check on me on her days off. The one visit that touched me the most was a very special Easter Sunday when she left her church and her family to make sure I was comfortable and being taken good care of; that, too, was Christ.

Eventually I could claim physical healing but not until after I completely surrendered to God's will for my life. I believe I gained an even deeper healing emotionally and grew more mature in my spiritual walk through that experience. I am more grateful for the child He had already given me many years prior to my getting sick. He is much wiser than I am.

Mostly I learned that God sets limits sometimes on what He allows each of us to do when meeting others' needs, but he is always encouraging us to do what we can and to leave what we can't, the rest, to Him who knows all things. I believe Watchman Nee said it best in Assembling Together: “When we are truly concerned with others' needs and others' edification, the Holy Spirit is honored and will do the work in us and in others”(42).

This physician's compassion, steadfast commitment and humble service touched me more than anything else she could have done. She truly had a servant's heart, and she left a mark on me. Are you leaving a mark on someone today? Ask God where it is He would have you to serve. People out there need you.

Contact Cheri at: godsgirlusa@yahoo.com