An Angel from Above

April 17, 2000 Abigail was born weighing 500 grams. 23 weeks prior to her birth my niece Claire and her husband Brandon were excited to learn she was expecting their first child. They hadn't been married long, but they had decided from the beginning to let go and let God determine the size of their family. When Claire became pregnant right after their wedding some family members were shocked that they wouldn't have waited a while to begin their family, and others were completely caught up in the excitement that only a new baby can bring. It was a relatively normal pregnancy from the beginning with only a little e morning sickness and nausea, in fact we all told her how lucky she was to be feeling so well, when up to this point we seem to have a family tradition of being sick for the entire nine months.

The week before Abigail entered the world, we had given Claire and Brandon a long weekend at our timeshare in Branson, Missouri. They were living in Kansas City, where Brandon was attending the university fulltime studying to become a teacher and Claire was working. My husband and I felt they were in need of a break so we set them up for a long weekend at the time share. At the time, Claire was working as a paralegal, and while not on her feet all day she was in a stressful work environment and it was taking a toll on her energy. We made the arrangements for them to go and they happily transported themselves to Branson where they intended to take in the shows. Claire had just entered her 22nd week of pregnancy, the second trimester; a time when most of us are over with worrying about something going wrong.

My sister Laura called me, from her home in California, to tell me Claire's water broke while they were in Branson and she was in the hospital. The doctor's were trying to stop labor, but so far it was still progressing. Laura was planning to leave in the morning for Missouri. You don't realize how remote some places in the country still are until you try to get an overnight flight to one of them. I've never sensed such distress in my sister as I did that night, on the phone, when her baby girl was in trouble in Missouri and she couldn't get there until late the next day to be with her.  Would she get there too late? What was going to happen to the baby? Laura had question after question for which I had no answers.

In terms of what was happening to Claire she had an incompetent cervix that tore from the weight of the baby and she was losing amniotic fluid causing distress for the baby. If baby came at 22 weeks the odds of survival were slim to none. Typically a baby will survive premature birth after 25 weeks and 800 grams. This number hasn't changed in the last decade. The doctors were all brutally honest with Claire and Brandon on the prognoses and none of it was positive; they felt the baby was not within the thresholds of viability to survive birth. They were taken t o meet other parents and taken in the NICU to meet tiny babies, who would be considered ‘large' when compared to their baby if she were born that day.

The next time I spoke with Laura she kept telling me about “the procedure”. What on earth is the procedure? “The procedure” is the medical term used by the physicians for ending a second trimester pregnancy. Claire and Brandon were given the full option of what they could do to either carry their baby girl until she delivered, or end it all now with "the procedure". (Today the term used is “partial birth abortion” and was banned in 2003.) I couldn't believe my ears when she told me this.  Someone was actually telling my niece to terminate her pregnancy? How could this be when they also were telling them the baby was viable if she would stay in the womb; the baby was strong and, healthy in the womb. Yet, someone was telling her to decide if her daughter should live or die? All I could think to say to Laura was, “Isn't this a decision for God to make?” Since when are we, as parents, equipped to make this kind of choice for our unborn healthy baby? Laura continued on telling me that Claire and Brandon watch daily shows of the baby doing gymnastics inside her on the sonogram machine, and she seems so alive and healthy that they can't believe they might lose her now. Claire and Brandon made the doctors aware of their decision to keep the pregnancy, and were happy to have the support of all the medical staff treating them.

We are a family with a tradition of not naming children until they are born, and even then we often wait until the very last nano-second the county gives to file a birth certificate. For this reason Claire and Brandon hadn't named their baby girl yet, in fact hadn't even begun to talk about possible names. Yet, they were suddenly asked to make a decision about her life and whether to give her life. Baby girl needed a name; one of the nurses brought Claire and Brandon a baby name book which they opened to girl names. The first name was “Abigail” which they knew immediately was the right name for their little girl—she will forever be the first.

I cannot tell you how many prayers there were for Abigail. We're a large family and a lot of churches were praying for her. Praying, praying, praying. For the next week, it seemed like everywhere I went someone asked me how my niece was doing. I had no good news to share, but also no horrible news. Labor would come and go. The fluid would come and go. Claire was on complete bed rest not even allowed to get up for the bathroom. She found her strength in doing everything she had to do to keep Abigail in her womb for as long as possible.

God's timing is not always what we pray for and certainly not always what we want more than anything in the whole wide world. Abigail was born on April 17 th , 2000, at 23 weeks gestation and 7 days after Claire entered the hospital. She never made it to the NICU. Her little lungs were just not formed enough for her to survive. When the doctor's knew Abigail was not going to breathe even with ventilation, they lifted her into Brandon's arms. This is actually a good memory for Claire and Brandon, being able to hold her as she passed on.  

We all traveled to Missouri where Claire and Brandon planned a beautiful memorial for their precious baby girl. It was full of music and beautiful picture of her before she died peacefully in her daddy's arms. While we were in Missouri we talked a lot about death and what on earth God could want from Abigail's death?

What does the story of Claire, Brandon and Abigail have to do with having “A Giving Heart”? It's now eight years later. Claire never returned to work as a paralegal, and instead went to nursing school. Brandon did return to college in Kansas City, but completely changed his major. God's plan? Claire is now a neonatal RN, Psychiatric nurse counselor working with parents of preemie babies who don't make it. Brandon is in his last year of medical school in Oregon, and is planning on a career in Pediatrics.  He is planning to devote his career to rural children with no medical coverage. They have since had three beautiful children, Sarah, Max and Dan. They continue to bless God for all he has given them.

We never know what path God is placing us on in life. We never know the outcome of anything in this life. Claire and Brandon trusted God completely when it came to Abigail's life. Even while the doctors were talking to them about “the procedure” they never felt obligated to consider it as an option for themselves, and felt respected for their choice of life for her. They ultimately didn't get the outcome they prayed for, but God certainly used Abigail to place them on a different path; a path he chose for them. They are giving it all back; all the glory to God with a giving heart.

Blessings,

Mari