Cultivating Lifelong Relationships

The last article shared the importance of plowing a field in comparison to allowing God to plow one's heart. The importance of plowing can be summed up by saying one sentence. Without the ground or heart being plowed and broken up, the soil or the heart remain solid and hard making it impossible to grow a crop for the harvest or to grow fruit in a person's life. Just this alone can support the evidence of hope because before the rest of what will take place once on this journey, you will know the hard work of experiencing a plowed heart will ultimately pay off in the long run.

After a heart has been plowed, one more step needs to take place before any seeds can be planted. A plowed heart brings about confession and repentance. In the same breath these are saying we believe who God says He is. Confession is the same as saying “I admit what I am doing is wrong” while repentance is saying “I am going to make some changes in my life.”

Does a person have the capability of being able to change on their own without the help of God or anyone else? It is possible for one to change without the help of God. However, would it be as effective of a change or as life-lasting when done under one's own power? Follow along as the article presents some of what it takes to cultivate a relationship with God.

Cultivating Relationships

What does it take to cultivate a relationship? It takes not judging others, putting others first, pursuit of getting to know others, paying attention to others by listening, and self-discipline – the art of saying “no.” Just a few concepts of what it takes to cultivate a relationship.

Judging others can interfere with cultivating a relationship by placing self-identified ideas of what the other person is like or about. Not one person is perfect to where they can place judgment on another person based on what is seen or heard. Only one has that right and that one is God. Yet He still doesn't judge but loves each person. Yes, God hates the sins one participates in but He still loves enough not to judge.

When it comes to putting others first, those are the common themes in the Bible. God says to love Him above all and to love one's neighbor as well as one's enemy. This is not the easiest thing to do as people look out to protect themselves and find their own satisfactions in this life. But if a relationship has any chance, one needs to set aside their own desires and get to know God's or another person they are in relationship with.

The pursuit of getting to know others seems complicated for most yet it can be as simple as taking the risk to have a conversation with a total stranger on the bus to having a conversation over coffee with a friend. The reason it seems complicated is because when someone has been affected by others in a powerful negative manner, it is hard to trust others. A lack of trust is a barrier that affects communicating with others especially on a level that requires intimate honesty sometimes. One way a person can break through this barrier is by setting aside the betrayal and hurt of past relationships with slowly taking baby steps in opening up.

In order to get to know others, it is imperative one practices the art of listening with the intent of restoring the information being given to you. One of the worse things a person can do, even worse than ignoring someone else, is to pretend to be listening to them all the while your mind is elsewhere. Constantly practice living in the present and you will begin to continue to practice the art of listening because anything outside of the present moment will not matter until one is alone and can think about things in the past or things about the future if there is a real need to think about these things.

And when all is said and done and one starts to experience a real relationship with others, it may be hard to say “no” to others. The reason being that one starts to think they have to say “yes” to everything to keep this relationship. But in reality, one still needs to be aware of times when they have other priorities that may be affected by saying “yes” to that new friend's request. If not secure in a relationship, the hardest thing to say is “no” for fear the other will get upset and not care to put any more effort into the relationship. Be aware of these types of thoughts so it doesn't cloud a chance to make the right decision.

Hope in Relationship with God

The start of a relationship with God as previously stated comes in confession and repentance. It is after this when one can experience these five things in a relationship with God. Knowing God will not judge helps with not judging God for who He is not. Putting God first always has a way of causing love towards God to grow. The pursuit of seeking God now that one is aware He exists is met with finding who He really is as His Word says “if you seek me, you will find me.” (2 Chronicles 7:14; Jeremiah 29:13) All the while getting to know God, one will come to the point of being able to hear God's voice. (John 10:27) And when one hears God's voice, they will know what to say “yes” to and what to say “no” to. Are you willing to grow in a relationship with God in this manner?

The hope in this phase is achieved in knowing one no longer needs to wander this earth knowing they can be in a relationship with God. And the other hope is knowing that no matter how bad one's life was before meeting God, God will still accept them even knowing their past. Who on this earth will do that? Not many except for those who have God living in them and even then it is hard not to judge.

There is no more having to chase the elusive fantasies. That attraction that looks so good but that which is meant to bring you harm. A relationship with God brings the ability to judge and no longer be experiencing spiritual depravity or poverty. For a person when they know they are poor in spirit will realize one must be stronger in spirit, and when they know that is God, they will experience the abundant life.

Wrap-Up

This part of the growth process could take some time. Not everyone will find that they can trust God right away. Some will need to take time in trusting God cause of the lack of trust developed over their lifetime. So if a new believer finds they are not finding the fruit they thought they were supposed to be finding, encourage them as a long-standing believer that it can take time. Tell them “It doesn't always form overnight. So give it some more time before you decide to throw in the towel and throw it all away. Spend more time digging in God's Word allowing it to take shape in your life.” (Read Luke 13:6-9)

The biggest thing a person has to believe at this stage is that God will rebuild in their life the things they have been destroyed. God will plant or replant His fruit in order to bring restoration. As a new or long-time believer, come to know the truth of Hosea 10:12 and allow it to bring hope and be an encouragement.

In summary, it takes accepting who He is and being willing to be prepared to receive His seeds that He will plant in a person's life if they are ready and willing to receive them which is the next stage of spiritual growth.

•  Is there anything we as believers can do to encourage a new believer at this stage of the growth process?

•  What must we do to encourage our own trusting relationship with God?

•  How important is it to get to know God for who He truly is and why?